This damn team

Motherfuckers.  You’d think I would be used to disappointment, being a Timberwolves fan.  But it’s not even that they’re bad, it’s that they can’t close out.  A team approaching Thanksgiving with one win would not be as painful if they were getting blown out by superior teams every night.  But fuck, these have been games that even a halfway decent team could have won.  When most teams have a lead in the 4th quarter, they can at least hold on to it half the time.  Or one third of the time.  Or one fourth of the time.  But usually more than all of the times.

Fuck Randy Wittman.  Yeah, you somehow convinced this team to not give up last year when any group of reasonable individuals would have, but does that mean you have to start Jason Collins’ contract?  Fuck non-existent point guard.  Bassy can’t stay not in foul trouble long enough to start and Randy Foye is not a point guard and never will be.  Fuck Corey Brewer.  Dude, you aren’t good.  I want you to succeed, but you’re playing like someone who shouldn’t be on an NBA roster right now, let alone challenging for a starting spot.  Fuck Rashad McCants.  No, you suck.  Fuck Mike Miller.  De-fense?  Do those syllables ring a bell?  Fuck Craig Smith.  Being the funny short guy gets old when you’re one-dimensional ass hell and not good at that one dimension.  Fuck Ryan Gomes.  You can’t hold down a starting spot on THIS team?  Why would anyone want to sign you to a long-term contract?  Fuck Kevin Love.  Having one good game doesn’t mean you can take the next week off, and where are all these damn outlets I heard so much about?  Even fuck the Unstoppable Al Jefferson.  Why are you settling for these little J’s when you’re being triple-teamed?  Show some confidence in these jerks and they might make an important shot once in awhile.

I mean, shit.

Gary Payton doesn’t think Rajon Rondo deserved his ring

Did Rondo shit in the Glove’s cereal or something? I don’t get how someone who ended his HOF career hopping on Shaq’s coattails on two different teams gets to call out anyone, let alone a second year player who steeled up like a vet in the Finals against Fisher and Farmar.

And who the fuck invited Magic Map Cartographer John King to the NBATV studios? Is this what he’s relegated to until the midterm elections?

Oh, hey Tony

What’s up?   Having a good . . . oh, okay, just drive to the hoop then.  Sure.  We’ll talk more later.

Okay, you’re back.  What was I thinking about?  Oh yeah, can you believe Obama won? I’m so exci . . . oh, there you go again, to the hoop.  Well then.

All righty, as I was saying, this is the first time I voted for someone I really believed in.  What about you?  Wait, can you even vote, being French and . . . okay, you’re driving by me again.

So, Tony, Eva couldn’t make it?  That’s too bad, you guys always seem like such a happy coup . . . SONOFABITCH where did Tim Duncan come from?  If I didn’t know any better, I would think you went by him to purposely run me into his body to free you up.  But that doesn’t make sense, we’re friends!

So, overtime.  Wow, I’d be getting tired if I weighed more than 115 pounds.  You’re not tired, are you Ton . . . I guess you’re not tired.

Hey Tony, I want to ask you something about France.  Is it true that women there can just walk around with their . . . wow, I didn’t even see you shoot it that time.

Another overtime?  Wow, this game’s going to go on forev . . . oh, that was a good shot, Tony.

Good game, Tone, it was so great getting to know you.  We should hang out again soon.

Iverson to Detroit?

MLive is reporting that there is a tentative agreement between the Nuggets and Pistons to trade Allen Iverson to Detroit for Chauncey Billups and Antonio McDyess.

Wow.  If this is true, things just got weirder in both cities.  My thoughts on this as more information comes through.

UPDATE: ESPN is reporting Cheik Samb has been thrown in to the deal.  It still has not been finalized, but the Nuggets may waive McDyess once it is, which would allow him to go back to Detroit.

My thoughts: From Denver’s perspective, it fills their biggest need (outside of a non-crazy coach and an overall commitment to defense,) point guard.  In Colorado’s own Chauncey Billups, they have someone who can effectively run the floor, is a veteran leader and knows how to score.  Most of Iverson’s scoring will likely be replaced by Billups and JR Smith, who will move back into the starting rotation.  McDyess is almost certainly not playing in Denver.  He is expected to either retire or negotiate a buyout.  The downside is that Chauncey takes up a lot of cap space and is on the books through 2011, by which point he will have begun his decline.

Detroit, on the other hand, just traded away one of it’s best players for cap space, which is never a good move.  They do get Iverson to try and make a push for a trip to the Finals and a starting backcourt of AI and Rip Hamilton (or Rodney Stuckey and AI with Hamilton a sixth man) could prove very potent.  The real action will come in the offseason, as the Pistons will now have a ton of cap space to attract a big time free agent either this year (Shawn Marion, Carlos Boozer, Ron Artest) or in 2010 (Lebron James, Chris Bosh, Joe Johnson.)  But nobody ever builds a championship team via free agency, and many big signings leave teams with a good player being paid like a great one.

Clearly Joe Dumars felt the need to gamble, and the direction the Pistons take over the course of the next decade will likely be determined by this move and the subsequent follow ups in the next two offseasons.

Andrew Bogut has a new challenger for most overpaid Andrew B

The LA Times says that Andrew Bynum and the Lakers have reached an agreement on a 4-year $58 million extension.  The first three years are guaranteed, with the fourth year a team option worth about $16 million.  This works itself out to an average of about $14.5 million a year.

Huh.  Look, I know he’s young and still getting better and is just bursting with upside, but so far he hasn’t really shown anything beyond flashes.  His career averages are like 7 and 6.  He hasn’t had the easiest time staying healthy.  I guess when you’re the Lakers and you’re already capped out beyond belief and are trying to win now, it doesn’t hurt to just say fuck it and throw this money at him, but this could wind up backfiring on them big time.

So what did we learn (October 29)?

  • The OJ Mayo All Star/ROY/Future GOAT train might have left the station a little early. Despite getting starter minites, Ovinton turned in 10 points on 5-20 shooting (including 0-7 from 3 point range,) 2 assists and 5 boards in a loss to Houston.  He played some nice D, but he has some serious gunner tendencies.
  • That the Knicks and Heat have buried the legacy of Riles, at least when they play each other.  New York pulled away 120-115 thanks to huge games from Jamal Crawford (who’s going to OD on playing D’antoni ball.  Seriously, he’s going to collapse in a heap of sheer joy by February.) and Z-Bo.  Dwyane Wade, Shawn Marion and Udonis Haslem combining for 63 points and 28 boards wasn’t enough for Ashwin Madia’s debut as head coach.
  • That the OKC Thunder are BAD.  Kevin Durant has an off night by getting in early foul trouble and they fall apart in their home debut against Milwaukee.  Charlie Vilanueva looked like an All Star (granted, the creepiest All Star since they let Brad Lohaus in the game) against this putrid D, and Mike Redd and Richard Jefferson decided to casually throw in 20 as well.
  • That YOUR Minnesota Timberwolves might be gradually getting the hang of it.  Last year the Wolves ranked 29th in free throw attempts.  Last night against Sacramento, they got to the line 22 times.  I don’t think they got to the free throw line 22 times in a single week last season, let alone in one game.  Step 2 is of course, making your free throws, and they only shot 50% against the Kings.  But walk, crawl, then run © The Honorable Clay Davis.
  • That Joe Johnson is still one to fear.  Always.
  • That mayeb Duncan and Parker won’t be able to carry the Spurs by themselves without Ginobli.  Despite 64 points from the two Foreign Elitists, it wasn’t enough to beat Phoenix.
  • That we’ve still got eight more months of this shit to go.  Praise Santa!

Even I feel sorry for Greg Oden at this point

I mean at least I managed to score a point before my career became an injury-riddled punchline.  Poor fella.